The safety and well-being of your child should be your foremost priority. For that to happen, there must be an open line of communication. Many teens find themselves in trouble, and countless teens have been killed, simply because they were more afraid of their parents’ reactions than the consequences of the actions they chose to take.

As a parent, you cannot afford to be naive or keep your head in the sand. Take an interest in the life of your teens. Know their friends. Know where they hang out. Know what they like to do. Think back to when YOU were their age. Talk with your teens. Let them know that you want to be able to count on them. More importantly, make sure they absolutely know that they can ALWAYS count on you.

Even the best kid can make a bad decision.

You and your teens need to plan for the worst-case scenario together. It’s just like a fire drill; you hope it never happens for real, but without a safety plan in place, even the smallest fire can become deadly. Even the best son or daughter in the world can make a bad choice or decision. At one time or another, your teen could be faced with any one of the following (or similar) situations:

• Getting into a car with someone who’s been drinking or doing drugs.
• Getting into a car with someone who does not have his or her license, or has had it suspended.
• Experimenting with alcohol or other substances themselves, and then being in a situation where they feel like they have to drive home. (Keep in mind your teen could also become a victim of unknowingly being “slipped” a substance).
• They wrecked the car. What do they do?
• They received a ticket. What do they do?

As a parent, how do you want your teen to handle those or similar situations? Forget the fact that you hope such situations never occur in the first place. The only thing you should be concerned with is preparing your teen to respond properly if a situation arises where the consequences of a wrong decision could become deadly. If you want your teens to make the right choice, you need to help them feel comfortable with the right choice.

Encourage your teens by rewarding them for good, responsible driving behavior. Give them incentives for making the right choices. The first year behind the wheel is the most challenging for a teen. Reward them for collision-free and citation-free driving. Set goals together for the first six and twelve months behind the wheel. Develop a Mutual Driving Agreement. Make it a contract.

It may sound silly, but by writing up a driving agreement together, you will be able to communicate openly with one another and clearly define goals that will greatly help your teen make the right choices.

One particular point to keep in mind is that when confronted with a situation where your teen should not be behind the wheel, they need to feel safe enough to call you for help. If they don’t, the chances of them making a poor decision will greatly increase. If they’re afraid that you’re just going to yell at them, ground them, or otherwise punish them, they might not make that all-important phone call. As an example, one contract provision that has proven effective is an agreement that if your teen makes that call for help, you promise not to yell at them or even discuss their behavior (e.g., drinking) until the following day. You’re not promising to ignore the behavior, only to put off the discussion for a little while. If they’re brave enough to make the call, the most important thing you can do is just get them home safely. No yelling. No discussion. Not yet. It just might help them feel safe enough to make a life-saving phone call.

Simply ask yourself what you would prefer:

• Your child is brought home by the police after being pulled over;
• Getting a call from the police telling you your child is in jail;
• Getting a call from the police telling you your child was in a collision;
• Getting a call from the police telling you your child caused a fatality;
• Losing your child;

OR

• For whatever reason, either peer pressure or otherwise, your teen has had a few drinks, but feels safe enough to call and tell you, and asks you to come pick them up. Your teen gets home safely.

Nearly 75 young people aged 16 to 20 years old are killed every day in automobile collisions.
Do you want your child to be one of them?
Just like a fire drill, you hope it never happens for real.
But please remember, without a safety plan in place, even the smallest fire can become deadly.